Look at this article from October 2006, We have really changed NETWORKING!
Dear Everyone,
Look at this article from Oct 2006. Now it is Oct 2008 and boy has The Heart Link Network changed the way women network forever. Aren't we sooo proud?
Why Don't Women Network More?
by Kay Cioffi
October 3, 2006
Whether you are a man or a woman, networking is hard. Who enjoys walking into a room full of strangers? What does one possibly talk about to someone who seems just as absorbed with the vegetable platter? If you are a woman, why does it seem easier to approach another woman than a man?
Raised by an overly protective father meant that I was not allowed to speak until spoken to, and certainly, my sisters and I were never allowed to speak to strangers. Now as a sole proprietor and executive recruiter, my livelihood depends on cold calling prospective candidates and clients.
Sometimes no matter how well I have prepared for a call, the most experienced gatekeeper can kill the momentum. Fortunately, several years ago, a seasoned executive shared with me how he handles these calls: He hangs up in mid-sentence – as if he had been disconnected. Then he calls back with a refined pitch.
Cold calling is child's play though, compared to networking at functions. The reality is that many of the functions are better attended by men than women. However, I have to admit that it is easier to be in a room full of men than women. Given how women actively seek for ways to bond with each other, it is perplexing that we do not carry this behavior into the business environment. An episode of The Apprentice shows Allie and Roxanne, who were friends throughout the season, spiral into personal attacks when brought before Mr. Trump to prove who is more capable.
This past year, I've attended dozens of functions from groups of 10 to 1,000, small business owners to PhDs, a small gathering of 20 high profile board members, and where other attendees have included George Lucas, Bill Clinton -- the ultimate networker, -- and Heidi Roizen, an HBS case study on networking. The toughest events have been the women-only functions. The scrutiny is so intense and the competition is at all levels: Who has the best handbag, the most successful husband, cutest children, and the most clever business idea? There is also the other extreme: The overly supportive women, which is just another form of hyper-competition. How does one network with groups like these?
Networking to me is the path to collaboration. Unfortunately, women learn early that collaboration with men is bad. Our parents told us not to play with boys because we'll get hurt. Then as teenagers, we aren't allowed to study with boys because we could get pregnant. As young women, we learned not to accept dinners unless we were willing to put out. No wonder when we enter the corporate world where it's predominantly men, we put our heads down and quickly get to work.
In order to be successful though, whether it is at a Fortune 500 company or managing one's own business, the ability to develop relationships across gender, race, and economic class does determine an individual's success, both professionally and personally. Through networking, she finds others to collaborate with, and collaboration creates relationships with other professionals who can help each other, create and exchange ideas, develop new opportunities, and of course, as the beauty pageants like to say, "achieve world peace."
Kay Cioffi is President of TexZen Partners, an executive search and recruitment firm specializing in technology and operations. She is pictured above (L) with Anne-Marie Canter of Lehman Brothers.
Look at this article from Oct 2006. Now it is Oct 2008 and boy has The Heart Link Network changed the way women network forever. Aren't we sooo proud?
Why Don't Women Network More?
by Kay Cioffi
October 3, 2006
Whether you are a man or a woman, networking is hard. Who enjoys walking into a room full of strangers? What does one possibly talk about to someone who seems just as absorbed with the vegetable platter? If you are a woman, why does it seem easier to approach another woman than a man?
Raised by an overly protective father meant that I was not allowed to speak until spoken to, and certainly, my sisters and I were never allowed to speak to strangers. Now as a sole proprietor and executive recruiter, my livelihood depends on cold calling prospective candidates and clients.
Sometimes no matter how well I have prepared for a call, the most experienced gatekeeper can kill the momentum. Fortunately, several years ago, a seasoned executive shared with me how he handles these calls: He hangs up in mid-sentence – as if he had been disconnected. Then he calls back with a refined pitch.
Cold calling is child's play though, compared to networking at functions. The reality is that many of the functions are better attended by men than women. However, I have to admit that it is easier to be in a room full of men than women. Given how women actively seek for ways to bond with each other, it is perplexing that we do not carry this behavior into the business environment. An episode of The Apprentice shows Allie and Roxanne, who were friends throughout the season, spiral into personal attacks when brought before Mr. Trump to prove who is more capable.
This past year, I've attended dozens of functions from groups of 10 to 1,000, small business owners to PhDs, a small gathering of 20 high profile board members, and where other attendees have included George Lucas, Bill Clinton -- the ultimate networker, -- and Heidi Roizen, an HBS case study on networking. The toughest events have been the women-only functions. The scrutiny is so intense and the competition is at all levels: Who has the best handbag, the most successful husband, cutest children, and the most clever business idea? There is also the other extreme: The overly supportive women, which is just another form of hyper-competition. How does one network with groups like these?
Networking to me is the path to collaboration. Unfortunately, women learn early that collaboration with men is bad. Our parents told us not to play with boys because we'll get hurt. Then as teenagers, we aren't allowed to study with boys because we could get pregnant. As young women, we learned not to accept dinners unless we were willing to put out. No wonder when we enter the corporate world where it's predominantly men, we put our heads down and quickly get to work.
In order to be successful though, whether it is at a Fortune 500 company or managing one's own business, the ability to develop relationships across gender, race, and economic class does determine an individual's success, both professionally and personally. Through networking, she finds others to collaborate with, and collaboration creates relationships with other professionals who can help each other, create and exchange ideas, develop new opportunities, and of course, as the beauty pageants like to say, "achieve world peace."
Kay Cioffi is President of TexZen Partners, an executive search and recruitment firm specializing in technology and operations. She is pictured above (L) with Anne-Marie Canter of Lehman Brothers.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Maran on
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I think Robert Fulghum summed it all up way back in 1989 in "All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten"
Maybe my good fortune growing up was going to 14 different elementary schools and consequently always being the new kid. I learned how to network early.
It was either that or be lonely.
And I totally never liked being lonely.
Alone is good, lonely sucks.
Here's to looking for ways we can collaborate and building relationships.
Relationships across the aisles.
We can.
We're big enough and strong enough.
We can have relationships across the aisles of gender, race, political preference.
We can support and cheer each other on.
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Permalink Reply by Dawn L. Billings on -
Hey, I went to a different school almost every year too. That's one more thing we have in common. I love reaching across aisles, lakes, rivers, even oceans. I am feeling so Helen Reddy "We are Women, we do more" Well I don't think those were her original words but I could definitely her her voice and music in my head : ) Blessings, Dawn
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Permalink Reply by Shaune Haas on -
Great article, Dawn. I'll add my two cents to the networking dilemma.
The following article was published in The Good News Journal, June 2008
Networking is Elementary
by Shaune Haas, CEO of the Breakfast Club Network
It’s a well known principle that people do business with people they know and trust, but many business professionals have forgotten the art of building relationships. The reality is that we all know how to do it! Our mothers taught us everything we need to know about connecting with others before we reached middle school. We just need to get back to the basics:
1. Put a smile on that face
2. Make friends
3. Play nice
4. Be honest
5. Take a bath
6. Do your homework
If you approach networking with these ‘elementary’ traits, you’ll be off to a great start! Have a good attitude and it will shine through (put a smile on that face). Communicate regularly with those on your contact list (make friends). Take an interest in what they are doing, professionally and personally, and show your appreciation for their friendship (play nice). People know when someone is being superficial. Be genuine in your words and actions (be honest). Present a polished image. [Take a bath], comb your hair, brush your teeth, go lightly on the cologne, and dress appropriately for the occasion. And last but not least, know your audience (do your homework). You can always find something beforehand that will take the awkwardness out of that first meeting.
Building relationships takes time, patience, commitment, and a willingness to give before you receive, and networking is just a different word for building mutually beneficial relationships. You might know a lot of people, but if they don’t know you, there’s no relationship, therefore no trust. You’ve got to earn their trust before you can expect them to ‘buy from’ or ‘refer to’ you. Now, get out there and network! And remember what your mother said!
Shaune Haas, CEO
Breakfast Club Network
www.breakfastclubnetwork.com
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Permalink Reply by Dawn L. Billings on
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Hi Shaune,
I don't know how I missed your comment in November, probably because it was a blur : ) but thank you. Great thoughts, I especially like the play nice. My second favorite is take a bath. Thanks for helping women succeed. Blessings, Dawn Billings
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Permalink Reply by Debbie Wells on -
What a great thread here.....I'd love to add my thoughts to the others...
I've been networking online now for approxiamtely 10 years and things have changed measurably since I first started. I've networked in person, face to face nearly all of my life and again....things have changed in that arena too!
Today in 2009, I find the networking waters much more to my liking than my early days in business. It's been a delightful process of constant personal growth in my own life and I've been blessed to watch other women grow from point A to point B and C and D and so on, as well!
There are 2 books I love to recommend to the women I coach in my downline:
1) Jesus, CEO: Using Ancient Wisdom for Visionary Leadership: by, Laurie Beth Jones
I love this book!!! Throughout it she points out that Jesus Christ was the original networker and his business was people! Male or female......the timeless truths in this book are worth discovering and will serve a person well in both life and business.
2) Hug Your Customers:The Proven Way to Personalize Sales and Achieve Astounding Results By: Jack Mitchell
This book shares example after example of why we should always make our customers *winners* when they do business with us. I am a firm believer that it is easier to *keep* a good customer than to *get* another. If we are keeping our customers happy....then our advertising expense accounts don't have to feel the pinch! They do our advertising for us and it's the very best kind....word of mouth!
Blessings from Oregon...
Deb
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